Driving Down the Lonely Side of the Road...

For the last month and a half, I have found myself on the road a lot, and only getting home every other week. Being a truck driver, I do get to see many exciting new places and beautiful landscaping, such as mountains, plains, and populated Cities.

In the last month I have traveled through Cities such as Sacromento, Los Angeles, Flagstaff, Alberquerque, Amarillo, Dallas, Houston, Oklahoma City, Tulsa, Little Rock, Memphis, Minneapolis, Green Bay, St. Louis, Chicago, Indianapolis, Columbus, Cleveland, Cincinatti, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Baltimore, Washington DC, Boston, and New York City just to name a few. So many places, so much beauty, but to see it by myself, so much loneliness!

I have come to realize that one of the most stressful points of this job, Truck Driver, is the loneliness! It's the loneliness that brings on depression, and even sometimes resentment. I have missed out on so much of my familie's lives, that I couldn't tell you half the things that go on in there lives. While I'm out here driving through all these cities, and through mountains and valley's my family is going on just as I would want them to, but wishing I was there too!

I do love my job, or otherwise I wouldn't do it, but I miss my family so much when I am out for more than a day or two. The road does have a lonely side to it, and it does drive me crazy at times!

I love my Wife, and often wonder how she does it, being married to a truck driving man who is gone a lot! I hope I never lose her, but Feel I'm not providing all that she needs in a man, because I can't be there to hold her every night, or laugh with her at the kids, or cry with her at the kids, or get angry with her at the kids! LOL

This job has many stresses to deal with! I know most people think being a truck driver is a cake job, that any dumbie could do, but the truth is, it is a very difficult job, not because of the job itself, but because of all the stress that is related to the job.

Stress like Wheather conditions, Traffic, ignorant 4-wheelers (that's what we like to call all of you who drive cars with only 4 wheels, lol), Road conditions, stepe grades in mountains, stepe down grades, Road restrictions for Big Trucks (especially in major Cities), Dealing with small spaces for a large vehicle, fatigue, long hours behind the wheel, etc, etc... But the toughest one of all is most defanentaly, LONELINESS!

Tonight I find myself stuck in Mogadore, OH, just south of Cleveland on THE LONELY SIDE OF THE ROAD!!! And the worst part is, I have no idea when I will get back home. Try as I might, the need for $$$ and the lack of loads going to KC keeps me out here on the Lonely Side of the Road way more than I ever wanted to experience!

The Power Of Prayer!

Now I know all of you who know the Lord, knows there is power in prayer! And I believe if you are sincere in a prayer, and let the Lord know you mean the prayer, he is faithful to answer.
But what happens to the rest of you when your prayer gets answered in a way that is hard to accept? Ok, what do I mean by this??? Well let me use me as an example, because recently, a prayer that I've been praying to the Lord for some time was answered in a way that I wasn't expecting.
You see, for several years now I've been praying for the Lord to change me! That is, my way of thinking, my selfish ambitions, and that side of me that is deciebtful, and ugly. For many years now I have struggled with selfishness that has lead me to make some desicions that are not always the best for me, or my family.
Without going into too much detail, let me just say, there was a side of me I didn't like, and that side kept leading me into different areas of life that were not Christianlike, nor Family man Like... Whenever I would slip up, I would repent, and ask God to take the desire from me to do anything that was bad for my Christian witness, as well as for my marriage, and family life.
But eventhough I prayed for release from this bondage of my old self, I still struggled against it, and gave into it too many times!!! I was wicked and evil, and I hated everything about it! And most importantly, I meant those Prayers when I asked God to change me!
Well, from the day I recieved Christ, God has been changing me, but this prayer was finally answered in the last several months in a way that I would of never dreamed. And if I did, I would of changed me a long time ago!!!
You See, because of these problem areas in my life, I almost lost everything that is important to me!!!! My Wife, Teresa, My children, house, etc, etc... Because for so long I put myself ahead of all that was important to me, I came within an eyelash of losing it all!!!!
So what does that have to do with my prayer? It was the answer to my prayer!!!! I guess it took the Lord bringing me to a place so low in my life to open my eyes to see the damage I was causing due to my selfish choices.
I guess you could say it was like the story of Scrooge, and how the Ghost of Christmas Past, Present, and future showed him just how big a mess he made of his own life. So was it true for me. God showed me just how it would feel to be stripped of all the gifts that he has given me, such as my Wife and family, then he showed me how my choices hurt my wife, and put her in a position to shut down, and move away from me in life to her own independence. Then just today he revealed to me what my future would be like if I didn't change, and ended up losing all that is important to me. That's right, a grave with no visiters. A life ending with no reward or meaning.
And just as I thought that, God revealed to me that this was the answer to my prayer, and exactly what I needed to be able to move past the selfish, deciebtful me to a man who can be used by God once again, and a man that can be trusted by his Wife and family again!!! He had to reveal to me what it would be like to lose it all, to get me to change, and thus, my prayer was answered!!!!!!!!!
A very hard answer to recieve, but just as God is always good, this was no exception!!!! I just hope that it's not too late to repair the damage I've caused in my life with others, especially my wife, and get back to being that man I promised to be to her 10 yrs ago!!!! Thank you Lord for your faithfullness, even when it hurts to hear the truth, you never fail me!!!!
And to all of those who had to suffer while my prayer was being answered, please forgive me! I never wanted anyone to suffer because of my choices, Especially my Wife. But it took God revealing the truth to me to see that is exactly what I was doing, hurting the ones I love! Old habits, I'm finding out, will die hard, but with every new day, God brings me one step closer to being that man He set out for me to be all along. Thank you to my wonderful Wife, Teresa, for sticking this out with me, and eventhough it has been very hard for her, she has not left my side (yet). Hopefully I can prove to everyone that this blog is no joke, and God did do a miracle in me in these last few months.

ROSE-COLORED GLASSES...

In the past few months of my life, I have come to realized I was living behind rose-colored glasses. What do I mean by that? Well let me try to explain;
For a long time, I was convinced that all my problems were somebody else's fault. That is, all my hurt, and all my pain was because I believed, while looking through these rose-colored glasses, that I was the victom, and my pain was caused by somebody else's choices.

Recently, I have taken off these glasses and discovered that the true source to my pain was me, not someone else! Because of my actions, choices, lies, etc., I have created my own pain, and in the process brought others into it. I thank God that he revealed to me the truth behind my hurt, and convinced me to stop blaming it on someone else.

Sadly, I believe that I am not the only one in this world who has worn these rose-colored glasses. I would almost bet all that I have that it is these rose-colored glasses that destroy more marriages and relationships than anything else! Because we cannot see past the nose on our own face, we convince ourselves that all the disagreements, arguements, and hurt are because the other won't listen, or understand! Until we are willing to look at ourselves in the mirror without these glasses on, (and when I say we, I mean anybody, and everybody) we will not be able to get past whatever pain, and hurt we are feeling in whatever relationship that is effected by those feelings.

I am learning to go on without these Rose-colored glasses, and if the whole world would do the same, I believe this would be a much happier world to live in. So from now on, my rose-colored glasses are in the trash, and NOW..... It's all about the Oakleys!!!!

FANTASY FOOTBALL...

For all who know me, know that I am a huge football fanatic, and I spent 260$ on a fantasy football team this year in hopes of winning 2G's. The league I play in has been a lot of fun, and the best thing about it is that I got the oppurtunity to have a Theological debate with one of the other owners who was an athiest. Ya, he brought up all the same arguements that you hear from most athiest, but this guy was very smart, and had some very good points to debate!
I'm happy to say I was able to go toe to toe with him in defending my Faith in Christ, and I believe I even won him over a little. I mean I don't think he's going to church and praising God just yet, but I touched him in a way I didn't think possible. And the best part, during our blog conversations on the League message boards, all the other owners where reading, and it gave me a great opportunity to share Jesus with everyone in the league. Don't know if I reached anyone, but figure that is God's job, mine was to simply say the truth!

If you are wondering why there is a Dodge Challenger in place of my pic, it's because it looks better, LOL... Actually, I don't have any photos of myself downloaded right now, but I figure all who read this, already know what I look like anyways, so what's the point??? But, if you all want to see me at my finest, then I will work on the pics.

For All of you, since how I know there are so many interested in what I have to say (LOL), wondering why I use the Blog Name, FrankNed, it is because My wonderful Wife gave me that nickname and it somehow just stuck.

This is my first entry, and once again, it is my wonderful Wife who got me on this desicion to start a blog. Since how I'm on the road as much as I am, I don't get the chance to state my feelings that much, so thought this might be a fun way of expressing myself while I'm stuck 100's of miles away from home. Hope whatever I come up with saying in the future will be interesting enough to keep checking back on, but at least I know My Wife will keep up on me, and that will make this worth trying, if nothing else.